So This Is How Things Are Now

So this is how things are now (I’m lost again),

I thought that I was well past this (You never know when everything is gonna change)

I thought that I had things under control (You have no control)

I thought she loved me, she never loved me

Is this just how things go?

Move from one high to the next low, and then repeat,

Cause I don’t want to be so scared of things that should bring life and happiness,

And I am tired of being lied to,

So don’t say you love me if you don’t love me

It is ok if you don’t love me, just don’t say that you do

I’m waiting, you’re just standing there

Can you say something please? Just say something please

I’m aching, desperate to hear the sound of your voice

I’m falling apart at the seams and it seems like I’m lost in the noise that’s surrounding me

And it feels like I’m slowly losing you

It feels like I’m slowly losing you

Please don’t give up now, don’t give up now

When the lights go out, when we hit the ground

When we hit the ground we’ll hold on tighter

So take me, please don’t hesitate

When the world is cruel, let me numb your pain

I’m holding on to something I can’t see

With these nights I stay up praying you’ll come running back to me

Let’s watch the fire go out, 

Lay with me here

Lay with me now

We have these scars on our skin

To show where we are

To show where we’ve been

And as long as we’re both trying to figure this thing out,

We might as well be doing it together

And as long as we’re both lost and hoping to be found, 

We might as well be lost and found together

Darling, love of mine

Sing loud, and hold on tight

We’ll take this world down together

Rain falls, and darkness moves in,

But darling, don’t run

Stay with me instead

See, though our sails are torn

We’ll face down our fears

We’ll weather the storm

I’ve decided that I’m going to love you for the rest of my days, 

There’s no hesitation - I promise you I’m here to stay

Yeah I’ve decided that I’m going to love you for the rest of my days,

There’s no hesitation - I promise you, we’ll be okay

Dear future me, if I could tell you just one thing,

I’d say “settle down tonight when you can’t fall asleep”

I would say when you turn off your light, you just start to hold on tight,

Cause in the end, you’re gonna be alright

Calm down, you’re gonna be just fine

‘Cause life won’t just be daisies and roses, and you can’t control this, 

The questions that you have won’t go away

You just remember the future is brighter than you were,

Future me, you go and chase your dreams

Future me, you live in make-believe

Dear future me, if I could tell you one more thing, 

I’d say “settle down with someone you could never leave”

And when you settle, don’t just settle for a momentary fling,

Cause your heart is worth much more than girls and what they think

And one day, you’ll find yourself a queen

And you’ll buy her daisies and roses, and sail the ocean,

You’ll put all those old fairy tales to shame

And all of your pain and your every past heartache

Will pale in compare to what you found,

Your queen is gonna turn your world around

Dear future me, if I could tell you one last thing,

Take me with you, don’t forget me in-between

I wanna see your next adventure, I wanna be your time machine

I’ll take you back to times that weren’t the best for you and me

And you will see that you’re alright - life’s a thrill, put up your fight,

And I’ll bring you through when your wounds start to bleed

‘Cause life won’t just be daisies and roses, and you can’t control this, 

The questions that you have won’t go away

You just remember the future is brighter than you were,

Future me, you go and chase your dreams

Future me, got some tricks still up your sleeve

Future me, you live in make-believe

I hold you closer than most, cause I love you so

And I told you that I’d never go, cause this much I know

That every step I’ve taken has led me here to you,

And every word I’ve wasted has led me closer, too and

Here we are, here we are

Hold on to me

Hold on to me as we grow

Hold on to me, my love

Hold on to me, and never let go, no

Days fade fast, but time takes its toll, and I’m dying to hold you here in my arms

I love you so much that it hurts, and I cannot find the words to say to you now

But see the stars, they’re shining?

Well they all shine for you

And see the city lights?

They’re nothing next to you, love

Here we are, with open arms

Oh tell me baby, do you see just how much you mean to me?

Do you know that I would lay me down just so you, my love, could breathe?

And everything you are amazes me, you’re taking me down slowly now

Slowly, love, yet all at once

I’m losing sight of the things here in life that are worth fighting for

And I’m losing hope, all the things I cling to most end up dying in my arms,

And it’s tearing me apart

I’m so tired of the fight it takes to breathe each day I’m

One step closer, yet two back from where I should be

Time passing by

And I’m wondering why

It always feels like I’m falling, always feel like I’m behind, 

Always feels like my heart’s enclosed in a cage and I can’t breathe

It’s like my dreams have turned to nothing, and wherever I run, I see

There isn’t any hope for me, trapped in a house without a key

I say I’m holding on

Am I still holding on?

I don’t know

It was my birthday today, I spent it watching leaves change on a bench in some old park

Green to orange to brown to gone, then starts all over

I see the process, but tell me why life has to hurt so much?

Cause I’m so tired of the fight it takes to hold my head up

I’m running out of rope to hold onto, I’m sinking slowly

Please pull me up

'Cause I’m giving up

I’m not giving up

Let’s settle down in a house on the side of a cliff

Overlooking the shore and the sea

Let’s forget all our worries, leave behind our regrets

You and me by the shore and the sea

And the sea

Let’s take our time, take the risk, live in dangerous bliss

Overlooking the shore and the sea

Let’s slow down and enjoy every minute of this

You and me by the shore and the sea

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Let’s settle down in a house on the side of a cliff

Overlooking the shore and the sea

Let’s slow down and enjoy every second of this,

You and me by the shore and the sea

You and me, we’re the shore and the sea

Well it was some day in May, I can’t remember the date, 

But I remember like it was yesterday

She came home to me, gave me a kiss on the cheek,

She said she loved me without saying anything

And I knew I had her

I felt her right there in my arms,

And now I believe, I know that I’ll never leave her,

I’ll hold her forever, I will

See, before she came along, I swear I had things all wrong

Oh, I was broken, in need of repair

Wandering, aimlessly, desperately searching for love 

In a world so full of hate

And she took my hand

She opened the door to her world,

And now I’m a traveler, and though I’ll never fully understand my girl,

She’s flawless, and me, I’m just a wreck

Oh tell me girl, how in the world did you choose me

When there are other guys instead?

Well honey I’m not complaining, cause I’m happy rearranging my life for you

And if the words that I’m saying are burned away without a trace,

Know that I’ll love you more and more as time goes on  

Cause I still get butterflies when I see you smile,

And I still want to hold your hand

I want to be everything you’ve ever wanted, and more

 And if the world falls apart, I’ll be your man

What’s left to say? I’ve walked my own way

Made my own plans, drowned in mistakes

It’s not that I’m wrong, it’s just so unwise

To live like the Master, I’m not the Giver of Life

I’m not the Giver of Life

I’m tired of running away from all that you have for me, all that you have

And I’m tired of running away from all that you have for me, all of your plans

So I’ll take the time, pour my heart out

All of my fears, lay it all down

Are you still beside me? God, I need to know

Cause I feel alone, and I can’t do this alone

I can’t do this alone

And I’m tired

Of feeling so lost

Like I’m not enough

When you say I’m loved

And I dream

Of running so free

But my mind is a maze and I’m wandering aimlessly

Everything ends, everything falls apart in time

And everyone loses, nobody makes it out alive

Tell me something I don’t already know

Or show me something that’s worth fighting for

Everything fails, nobody’s bullet proof, I know

And everyone’s scared here

Cause nobody wants to be alone

We are the fallen, discontent in regret

Sons of the Father, broken hearted, in debt

Hold fast, love, don’t you give up now

Take heart, love, don’t you fade into the crowd

Your heart is fire burning now

Your soul’s on fire, and the sound

Of your lungs breathing out is a song

You’re a song

I hope you know everything’s okay between us,

I know you’ve been wondering if I’m ok

Words hurt, love burns, leaves wretched scars like a wildfire

Blazing a path only I could go down

And down, down, down, down I go

I’ve been broken, I’ve seen my rain turn to ashes

Washing away every hope I once had

But I’ve felt redemption, and I know the pain in the process

Makes every smile much more worth it in the end

So why would I give up now?

If I’m breathing, I’m fighting, and I’ll fight till I die somehow

(interlude)

Cause I know it’s not perfect,

But I also know it’s worth it

And honey, I know your heart’s hurting,

But I can feel the darkness turning to day

And I know it’s not perfect,

But I also know it’s worth it

And I know your heart’s broken,

But every lonely night brings growth

Every broken cry brings growth

(Let the seasons change, let the rain fall)

(You’re better for it // I said you’re better for it)

The darkest clouds consume the evening as I find myself in discontent

I feel the heaviness around me, and I hear the voices in my head

I’m tired of stumbling through the darkness

Of fighting things that I can’t see

Of putting smiles on to mask the underlying pain, I guess I’m

Just not as strong as some might think

Holding on, easier said than done

Cause it’s all I have, to keep myself from falling back,

To keep myself from breaking up

But when everything is lost, I find

The beauty’s in the undefined

The demons hide within the shadows - the deepest crevices of everything in me

They whisper sweetly, calling, tie me to myself and so I,

I pick my poisons, drink them sweet

Then everything around me falls apart, and I’m the cause of this

I’m falling backwards into fear and it’s a dark abyss and,

I can’t resist, though I intend to be the best that I can be, 

I find myself with nothing more than broken promises and dreams

Cause I don’t feel strong, feels like everything I do is so flawed

And holding on, so much easier said than done

The light is where my eyes can’t see,

The beauty’s where my lungs can’t breathe,

The diamonds lay trapped beneath the pressure of these things,

And the pressure of these things is killing me

This isn’t how things go

It’s just one high and one low - it’s not the end,

And I don’t want to see you turn to things that break your heart and happiness

And I’m so sorry that you’ve been lied to,

But son, I love you

I really love you

And it’s ok if they don’t love you

Because I really do

This isn’t how things go

It’s just one high and one low - it’s not the end,

And you don’t have to be so scared of things, cause love is not a crooked curse,

And I’m so sorry that you’ve been lied to,

But son, I love you

I really love you

And it’s ok if they don’t love you

Because I really do